Denise Jones

Author & Inspirational Speaker

Peeling Back the Layers

This quote from Oprah Winfrey has always resonated with me. Many years ago I was actually a guest on the Oprah Show, and the experience profoundly moved me. In fact, I will suggest that it was one of the biggest incentives for me to move into my own power and to create Diamond from the Rough.I can tell you that a lot of prayer, tears and self-reflection went into peeling back my own layers. And I became stronger.

Prepare for Peeling Away the Layers

But it’s easy forpeople to say they are going to engage in reflection and to actually do it consistently enough to make a difference. Every day I see people who are losing sight of their own personal dreams because they are sideswiped by life and their dreams are kicked to the curb. Those of you who know me and follow me regularly know my background, which included some of the most horrific childhood trauma a person can face, including sexual abuse, drug addiction and crime, just to name a few. While imprisoned I had a life changing event that force me to engage in deep contemplation about what I wanted for myself, what God wanted from me (or could possibly want
from me), and how to make that happen. I started by peeling back each tender layer, and what I discovered has set me free. It is my sincere hope that it can help you as well.
  • P…..Put aside the world’s image of you. Deep down in the quiet places in your mind, who are you? Who do YOU say you are?
  • E……Engage in activities that allow you the time and space to truly consider your life.
  • E…..Enlist the help of professionals who can give you the tools to deal with trauma in your past or current life.
  • L…..Life was meant to be enjoyed. Find something each day that lifts your spirit.
  • B….Believe that changes is possible.
  • A….Access that deep down strength that everyone possesses. It’s there…you just got to want it.
  • C….Cultivate a mindset of change. Make a point of doing something in a different way and see how it changes your perspective.
  • K….Keep on going. Giving up means your journey pauses in a less than ideal place.
  • L….Let things go. If you harbor resentments from your past, you should work toward letting those feelings of anger, hurt and resentment go. It is possible.
  • A….Accept that you are not perfect, but that you want to get as close to perfect for YOU as you can.
  • Y….You are in charge of your own feelings about anything at any given time. You have that power.
  • E…Energize your desire to move forward toward your goals.
  • R…Realize that people have flaws and short comings. They do not have to define who YOU are.
  • S….Seek the stillness of your soul that leads to the greatest peace you has ever known.
Self-examination is the key to happiness and contentment starts with understanding who you are and how you can improve yourself. And this should not be taken lightly. As we venture on this journey together towards organized wellness, this is the first step towards personal growth. That might seem like a weird place to start when talking about organizing, but I want you to appreciate yourself for who you are, learn to understand your preferences and needs, being true to yourself, before embarking on your path to a clutter-free contented life and relaxing home. Some thoughtful introspection is in order before we can reach our final destination along with gaining personal insight.

Why Self Reflection?

But it’s easy forpeople to say they are going to engage in reflection and to actually do it consistently enough to make a difference. Every day I see people who are losing sight of their own personal dreams because they are sideswiped by life and their dreams are kicked to the curb. Those of you who know me and follow me regularly know my background, which included some of the most horrific childhood trauma a person can face, including sexual abuse, drug addiction and crime, just to name a few. While imprisoned I had a life changing event that force me to engage in deep contemplation about what I wanted for myself, what God wanted from me (or could possibly want
Understanding who you are, what you really want, and who you want to be in the future only come from stopping long enough to think about it. Asking yourself the hard questions gets you there faster. Stephen Covey wrote in his 7 Habits of Highly Effective People that when you create a blueprint for your life, you need to begin with the ‘end’ in mind. Becoming quite clear about who you are and what you want prevents other people from shaping your lift by default. Living by design is where it’s at.

Tools to Get You Started

So, let’s say I’ve convinced you that you need to do this. And, with the New Years coming up….it is a great time to start, wouldn’t you say? I can honestly tell you that there is SUCH a feeling of profound relief when you learn something new about yourself and why you make the choices that you do. One of the ways to do this is to simply take one of those personality tests. You can find them all over the internet. One of the best is www.16personalities.com (it’s based on the Myers-Briggs personality test that most corporations use).  Another good one that I like is enneagram. If you don’t know where to begin peeling back the layers, these are two easy-to-do places to start.

After you have the results of these tests, ask yourself these very important questions:

  • What is of value to your personality type?
  • What are your hard-wired, deep-seeded beliefs that are total and complete (unwavering)?
  • What are at least 5 of your hopes, and 5 of your dreams?
  • What are your simple likes and dislikes (can include any category such as people, places, things, etc.)?
  • What do you need to be happy? Delve deep on this one…explain WHY you feel you need it to be happy.
  • Envision yourself a year from now….what does that look like? What does ‘happy’ look like?
  • What are your strengths?
  • What are the weaknesses you want to work on?